


So different yet so similar

by Constellalune



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Dancing, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, Spice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28339215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constellalune/pseuds/Constellalune
Summary: Darkness and light, chaos and peace, monster, and goddess. She was everything he could never be, yet she finds the darkness bringing warmth- the darkness reminds her of spring and everything lovely, and then her, being the light, was everything but warm; she was cold like the days in winter. So different, yet so similar....I... still suck at summaries😔✌Titles too:")
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair & Kieran White, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	So different yet so similar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rabbit_hearted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbit_hearted/gifts).



> You know what the hardest part of this fic was? The stupid formatting * sobs *  
> .  
> .  
> Anyway, this was the secret Santa thingy for rabbit:>  
> Enjoy this piece of crap❤

Lauren pants, punching the man square in the face, hard, and he tries to punch her abdomen, she dodges, because although he was much stronger, and bigger made than the police officer, she was faster. She stands behind him, now- she moves so fast, he doesn’t even realise, and he looks around confused, like as if he were trapped in a room of illusions, and he was trying to figure out what was real and what was not. She smirks at his confusion and hits his head with the butt of her gun, making him lose consciousness.

God bless Kieran for teaching her a thing or two, she thinks.

She grips her arm, realizing he cut her arm and she curses under her breath, but she continues to make her way towards him, hoping and praying the idiot hadn’t got himself killed.

When she finds him, she stops dead in her tracks; freezes as if she were a statue. Lauren stares at him- the silver eyed boy, those eyes she loved so much, and for the past ten years, so desperately wanted to see them; alive. But now, as she looks at him, holding a knife at a dark-haired man’s neck, and Kieran, the point of his sword pointed at her best friend, a part of her- the darker side- wishes he weren’t alive. 

Lauren’s breathing gets heavier and heavier by each second, like as if a stone had been placed on her chest, and she places a hand on her heart to calm her heart rate. When Sandman told her Dylan was alive, she knew it was the truth but—but seeing him with her own eyes, it felt surreal, like she was in a dream. Except it wasn't.

Suddenly, she’s brought back to reality, and focuses her attention on Kieran and realises he’s holding his katana towards her best friend, he was going to kill him. _He was going to kill him._ Her eyes dilate, and she listens to their conversation, not stepping out of the shadows as yet. 

“Let him go, Rosenthal.” She has never heard Kieran speak in such a cold voice, so hard and emotionless. “He has done nothing to harm you."

Lauren frowns in confusion. _How does Kieran know Dylan?_

When her best friend speaks, it sends chills down her spine. It doesn’t make her feel comforted in any way or form. “Oh, but I know how much it would affect you, and you know, _Mr.PH,”_

“I _really_ do enjoy seeing you suffer.” She could literally hear the smirk in his voice, and her heart hammers harder, as if it would fall out of her chest any moment. _Not a lie, not a lie._

“Let him go or I’ll make sure you never see light again.” The latter growls.

Lauren bites her lower lip, pressing her body and palms against the wall, hard, shutting her eyes tight, and just as she makes her way to show herself, swords meet, and it’s a beautiful sight, the way they clashed, the light, the flashing like lightning, the _clang_ and the way they moved, so gracefully, so skilled. The man Dylan was holding now lays on the floor, blood coating his cheek and abdomen. 

She sees the devilish smirk on her best friend’s face, and the man she grew to care for, the way his eyes fill with anger, concentration, and the look she knows too well, the look she wishes she didn’t know; fear, fear of losing someone, the desperation to keep them alive.

Just then, from the corner of the grey-haired man’s eye, he catches the sight of the beautiful redhead, and at first, he looks shocked, but his smirk returns soon, and he swings the sword towards Kieran, which Kieran stalls but he moves so fast, he knocks Kieran, hard, sending him flying to Lauren’s side. She wants to move to help him, but she can’t, she was still too much in shock. 

Dylan chuckles and it isn’t the same as she remembered it to be. It was everything but warm. It is cold, cruel, wicked. “Ah, my dear Ren. Finally, you have come to watch the show.”

“No—” She only manages a whisper. 

He turns his head back to Kieran, who stands, now, in front of Lauren, pushing her behind slightly, as if to tell her to run, but she stays. His silver eyes shine under the moonlight, his smirk never dropping. “Your _‘girl’_ is here, so would you really- would you _kill_ me—” 

Dylan pulls the man up roughly, and keeps him how he was initially, pressed against him, blade at his throat. “Would you really kill me in front of _her?_ Her- her own—” 

Before she knows what’s happening, Kieran moves forward, his sword aiming for her best friend's heart, Dylan’s, at the man’s throat, pressing further and Lauren throws herself towards Kieran, pulling him back, and when she sees his face, she notices how- how terrified, how furious he looks. She notices one more thing- sadness. Lauren doesn’t remember the last time she saw that look on his face. Kieran’s eyes fill with something that looks like hurt- like a little boy who was taken away from his father. 

She isn’t sure why she pulled him back if she was honest. A part of her wanted to save her best friend, and a part of her wanted to stop Kieran from killing someone and drowning in the guilt. She supposes she would never know.

Lauren lifts her head up to see the man laying on the ground, unmoving, his blood kissing the ground, a faint smile painted on his face. Her eyes dilate.

_He really killed him. He killed him. Dylan killed someone, he-_

She wildly twists her head around, looking for the familiar blonde head but spots him on a roof, not too far away, hands on his hips as if he were proud about something, and soon disappears out of sight. 

“No.” Lauren whispers, her eyes still dilated. 

Kieran was in her arms, frozen almost, his head resting against her chest, mouth parted open, and his eyes- his sapphires, they glowed- they glowed so bright; it looks inhuman.

Suddenly, like he was pulled back to reality, he pushes himself off her and makes it to the man, holding his hand.

Lauren watches him, his face broken, and he wonders who the man is. She sees him move his mouth, whispering something to the man before he picks himself up, looking at her, fixing a hard look, his face void of emotion. 

“We’ll have to get him next time.” He sighs, “He knows we’re Lune. We-“

Kieran massages his forehead, talking softly this time, looking too tired to speak any louder, “We’ll—let’s just go to my apartment, okay? You’re injured and we need to fix you up.”

She nods, still trying to process what just happened- it all happened- so fast, it was hard to comprehend. Lauren shakes her head, following him because there wasn't really anything else she could do.

\-----

Standing outside his apartment, she shivers slightly, because of the cold and because she kept thinking back to those pearl eyes which she hated and loved, because no matter what he becomes, she will always love him. 

She can't bring herself to believe- to think that he is a _murderer._ He killed someone right in front of her and was so _nonchalant_ about it. 

Lauren shakes her head, blinking the tears back and follows Kieran inside the apartment, and oddly enough, she found herself craving to be there with him because it is the only place she finds herself feeling safe.

\-----

As they enter, Lauren lets out a heavy breath, gripping her arm that was now bleeding. She grits her teeth, pulling off the coat off her shoulders, hanging it on the coat hanger.

She looks over at Kieran, and a subtle frown forms on her face, because he is quiet; so similar to a mouse, it's unnerving. It makes her feel small, ironically, although him talking too much should make her feel that way. 

Kieran removes his own coat with one tug and makes his way to the same door he got the first aid kit the last time, but before entering, mutters for her to sit on the table, and wait for him which she replies with a nod. Of course, he wasn’t hurt. He was much more skilled than her when it came to sword fighting, and he _was_ an assassin.

Lauren sits on the table, waiting for him thinking about her encounter with the grey-haired boy- or rather, man. Although she knew Sandman didn’t lie when he said Dylan was alive, she still couldn’t quite grasp it. A sharp surge of pain spread through her head and she groans. Even though she did want him to be alive, a part of her wished he weren’t because she hated seeing what he had become.

Before she has time to put more thought into it, Kieran stands before her, pulling out a needle, and she lets out a displeased whine like she was a cat whose milk was taken away and he looks at her, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s just—” Lauren gestures to the needle, “I don’t necessarily like the feeling of that much.” 

He doesn’t say much, only offering her a soft hum and saying, “I’m not sure if anyone does.”

Kieran doesn’t speak throughout and neither does she; she couldn’t. It doesn't feel right to, not when she knows there was clearly something wrong, because she can see the way his lips turn down, slightly, the way his sapphires didn’t shine rather were a dim shade like the waves at sea on a stormy night, and most of all; he barely spoke to her.

It hurt; the needle and that he didn’t offer any explanation. A part of her wants to demand and ask him who the man was, and why he is so affected by it, and why is he not talking to her, but a wiser part knows not to ask something like that because it would only anger him further, and she knows, that this man rarely got angry, and if it ever was it was only reasonable.

Once he's done, he washes his hands, and tries offering her a smile but it came off so fake, she could’ve called him barbie. She wants to make him feel better, wants to help because finally after talking about the cave incident, they sorted things out and perhaps, something more was created, much more than a partnership or even friendship. 

So, before Kieran reaches for the first aid kit to keep it back, Lauren holds his chin and makes him look at her, her eyes filled with worry; looks at him as if she were a mother looking at her injured child. He closes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath in and pulling away from her, roughly, as if her touch caused him pain, his face painted with a petulant expression. 

She furrows her forehead, “What’s wrong?” 

“Why did you pull me away?” His voice is so soft, barely audible to the human ear. 

“Come agai-“

 _“I said,”_ Kieran looks back up at her, his sapphires cold like ice, hard like stone, _“Why did you pull me away?”_

Lauren pushes herself off the table, so she stands right in front him, their feet mere centimeters apart. She looks at him with confused eyes, looking like she was in a dream she couldn’t understand, “I’m sorry, Kieran, I pulled you back because you were going to _kill_ him.” 

His eyes blaze in anger, “And so? I _am_ an assassin, aren’t I?” 

“Kieran, you know you would’ve beaten yourself over it if you did.” Her own anger rises ever so slightly, “I was only doing you a favor.”

Kieran chuckles mirthlessly, _“Right._ Doing me a favor.” 

She doesn’t say anything, only glares. 

“Really, _Lauren._ ” Kieran scoffs, “That little piece of shit tried to kill-“

 _“You will not call him that.”_ Her voice was hard and stern, her aureate eyes blazing like fire, angry like a wolf who wasn’t given food in weeks.

Kieran stops, then, his own azure eyes glimmering with an inhuman shine of anger. He doesn’t move, and slowly the creases in his forehead settle as if he had come to a sudden realization, solved a mystery.

“Oh.” He mutters.

_“What?”_

“So—he, he is that little friend of yours, isn’t he?” Kieran laughs, grimly, “The friend your driver said was alive? The boy you’ve been looking for?”

Lauren doesn’t reply but her eyes soften, for less than a millisecond, and she speaks, again, her voice never lacking it’s hardness, “ _Yes._ And you tried to kill him.” 

“Ah, yes. Always about the _great_ Lauren Sinclair and what suits her, am I right?” His face fills with a smile which holds no genuineness. 

Before she can speak, he continues, his wicked smile dropping. “So, it’s okay when your _cute_ little best friend murders someone?”

Lauren looks at him, incredulously, “I did _not_ say that _Kieran."_

_“But didn’t you?”_ He takes a step forward and she takes one back, instinctively, and it reminds of her time when it was in a cave, and the rain stormed, the thunder clapped, and the world cackled at them. 

__

Kieran went on, “You’re okay with your best friend murdering a _human_ in front of your eyes, and you don’t allow me to save the man and kill the real killer there?” 

__

Lauren feels the familiar feeling of guilt, trying to embrace her but she pushes it away. “And what makes you think you’re any different to him, Kieran?” 

__

She stands taller now, and they’re so close, she hates it- she hates how it makes her feel. “Are you not an assassin yourself, hm? Either way one person would’ve ended up dying, Kieran”

__

“You are only defending because he’s your best-“

__

_“Of course, I am!”_ Her voice is high and loud, and before she knows it, a tear rolls down her cheek, but she wipes it just as fast as it drips. 

__

“Of course, I protected him. What did you expect, Kieran?”

__

Kieran clenches his jaw and pushes her against the table, his arms trapping her as he grips the edges of the table, breathing heavily, his head dropped down. She would be lying if she said she isn't terrified- she is petrified, being trapped between his arms when he looks like he was a werewolf on a full moon.

__

Lauren watches as he shivers, shaking slightly, and by each minute, he gets quieter, and she hears- ever so softly- she hears him counting from ten to one. 

__

Lauren frowns. _He’s calming himself?_

__

Kieran pulls himself away, scrunching his eyes shut, massaging his forehead. He looks up at her, the iciness gone subtly, “It still doesn’t excuse why you allowed him to kill the— _man._ ” 

__

She glares at him, “You know, you speak as if you’re a saint, Kieran. You’re just as bad as him. You have blood on your hands too- even more than him.” Lauren chuckles mirthlessly, “You condemn him for his sins as if you haven’t done any yourself, how incredibly ironic. Do you really think giving money to the poor makes you better? Making someone smile?”

__

This time _she_ walks towards _him, taunting_ him, “Do you really believe that Kieran?” Lauren traces his jaw with her fingertips, her face so close to his, her touch there but not, like a ghost. Endearing like a lover's touch but harsh like a tiger ripping its prey apart.

__

He never loses his composure, “He’s just as bad as me.”

__

Lauren shuts her eyes tight, gritting her teeth, “No, Kieran, _no._ You’re _wrong_ , he is _not_ you, he is not you, _he will never be, he is not—_ ” 

__

Her voice rises, higher and higher, like she was in a choir, singing; except she isn’t, she isn’t singing, she is not a bird, she is not melodious- she is a building, a building falling apart, she is all the crashing sounds of the bricks, the yells of the people, she is everything but a melody; a dissonance. 

__

Her voice reaches its peak when she screeches the forbidden words, the words which were not to be spoken out loud, but she broke the rule, and although she is the light, light, too, dims, and becomes darkness, whether for a split second to centuries, the light dims, and so, it did, in that moment, when she said them:

__

_“He will never be you; he is not a monst—”_

__

Lauren stops abruptly, freezing in her position and so does he. A beat passes, the air around them feels heavy and she feels suffocated, and all she wants to do in the world is to disappear, she wants to run away far, far away from here- from _him_. She doesn’t look at him, she can’t bring herself to.

__

She straightens herself up, “Kieran I-“ 

__

He clenches his fists, _“No.”_

__

Lauren doesn’t look at him, not yet, but when she finally does, she feels a part of her break. She doesn’t realize how broken he looked.

__

“Leave, Lauren.” Kieran speaks softly, sternly.

__

“But-“

__

“I said leave. Go before the monster decides to show up.” His voice is so similar to ice- hard yet thin like ice rinds, with too much weight, it may break. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

__

And so, she obliges. 

__

\----

__

The door closes with a soft click and Lauren leans against the door, sliding down, holding her forehead, another wave of pain washing over her. 

__

She buries her face in her hands, inhaling and then looks up at the sky, getting a glimpse of the moon that reminded her so much of the assassin. 

__

“Dammit.” She mutters, her voice breaking, _“I messed up.”_

__

And on the other side, 

__

Kieran leans his forehead against the door, a hand resting on it, too, and he takes a deep breath in, letting out a shaky one. 

__

“I messed up.” He mumbles, “ _Again._ ”

__

.

__

.

__

.

__

She doesn’t sleep. She can’t.

__

But she is only human, so she finally does, and she dreams of darkness, and blood, and everything of chaos and for once, she finds herself craving the sun.

__

\-----

__

As she makes her way to the precinct, she rubs her eyes, massaging the bridge of her nose. She wants to apologise, she knows it’s only right. She hates that it’s her- she knows it’s selfish- but she wishes it were him that broke them again and not her, because this guilt- it embraces her, and it feels so familiar- that sense of coldness, the chill. 

__

Lauren opens the doors to the precinct, before stepping in, exhaling. 

__

_I’ll apologise, and everything will be fine. Everything will be okay._

__

She wonders if that’s just her trying to convince herself. 

__

\-----

__

Two hours. Two hours passed, and she still hasn't got a glimpse of the ocean eyes she loved and hated so much. Lauren looks around, waiting for him to show up. It isn’t in his character to be late, even if there was a natural disaster- whether this is his real job or not, he never slacked. 

__

She can’t concentrate on her work; her chest feels heavy, and she can’t feel her stomach. Every time she thought- no, she _can’t_ stop thinking about it, actually- the guilt hits her, hard, like the stormy waves that hit the rocky edges at shore, and pulls her in, further, further. 

__

She knows, she knows, she _knows_ it's her fault. She knows she owes him an apology, and she does want to, but brilliantly, on just the day she ‘rehearsed’ her apology, he doesn't show up. She begins to worry, then. It’s been quite long. Frowning, she stands up, making her way to her blonde best friend.

__

“Hey, Will.” She starts, confusion and worry evident on her face, “Do you- do you perhaps know where Kieran is? Did he let you know he would be absent?” 

__

William’s eyebrows furrow in perplexity, “He- he lost someone close to him just recently, Lauren. Did he not let you know?” 

__

Before she can reply, she hears a voice right at her ear, sending chills down her spine, _“I thought the two of you were dating?”_

__

Lauren, instinctively, sends a hand flying at the sergeant’s face, her eyes widen in shock, from both what William said and Kym creeping on her like that. She scowls, not having the energy to yell at her best friend for doing the same thing again. 

__

She turns back to Will, “But I-“ 

__

She pauses, pressing her lips together, asking softly, “Did he say who?” 

__

Will shakes his head, “Only said he won’t be making it today. He sounded pretty upset. Now, care to explain why he hasn’t told you when the two of you are supposedly _dating?_ ” 

__

“We-“ The mistrust in his voice hurts her, a little, but it is only fair. Lauren speaks softly, again, “We kind of—got into an argument.” 

__

Kym holds Lauren’s shoulder and squeezes it, “What did that jerk do to you?” 

__

Her stomach flips again. It was her fault, and he is not a jerk- he is anything but. 

__

“It- it was only my fault, Kym. I wanted to talk to him today and-“ She holds her forehead, gritting her teeth, “Goddammit, no wonder he was so upset.”

__

The blue haired girl holds her hand squeezing it and Will speaks softly, “Hey, it’s okay, you didn’t know. Whatever it is, I’m sure things will get better between the two of you.”

__

Before she knows what’s happening, tears form in her eyes.

__

_But it won’t. And it’s all my fault._

__

.

__

.

__

.

__

He doesn’t arrive the next day either. He only arrives on the third day, looking fresh as daisy, his midnight hair combed behind perfectly, not a single strand sticking out unlike usually when his hair is like the grass in the abandoned fields, untamed. Kieran’s face literally glows, his tan skin clear, and he smiles as if he were a small boy who just received candy. He enters, a tray of coffee resting in his palm as he hands it to the officers in the precinct. He looks perfect, but only to the untrained eyes. 

__

She sees right through it- she sees the subtle, barely visible dark circles under his eyes, his sapphires glow a light not like the stars rather, the light of the broken streetlamp down Grey Chapel. She notices the way he slightly zones out as William talks to him and the barely notable nod he gives Hermann when he gives him work. 

__

She _knows_. She isn’t blind anymore. 

__

Lauren waits- and waits, the time passing agonizing slowly, each second making her stomach flip. But finally, _finally_ , she gets a break, and she almost literally jumps out of her seat, nearly pushing her chair down, and dashes out, making her way to the archives, and ignoring the odd glances her co-workers gave her.

__

Lauren looks around before entering the archives and when she was sure the coast was clear, she pushes open the door, and finds the sky eyed man hunching over his desk, doing something which she assumes is drawing because of the way his hands move. 

__

She finds it mind blowing, fascinating- the way his hand glides across the paper, like a ballerina, skilled and experienced. Lauren finds herself unable to move as she watches him, so focused, his tongue sticking out.

__

And she takes her time to appreciate him. How— _human_ he looks, how he looks so like _himself._ Lauren observes the way he frowns, as he draws, his azure eyes glowing a bright light enough to brighten the universe, his hands, his fingers, his jawline, sharp enough to whet blades and used as one itself. 

__

Her heart tightens, and she doesn’t understand why.

__

_He’s so beautiful._

__

Lauren’s thoughts are interrupted, and she blinks, furrowing her eyebrows as she hears a cough, and she shoots her head up in his direction. Kieran raises an eyebrow at her, “I’ll assume you need something?” 

__

She opens and closes her mouth, looking very similar to a fish until she finally collects her thoughts together, “I—yes.” 

__

“And how can I help you?” 

__

She hates this- she hates how he speaks to her, so professionally, as if they didn’t have history, as if they hadn’t saved each other, bandaged each other- climbed and ran across roofs under the moonlight when the clock strikes 12. She grits her teeth, but she knows it’s only what she deserves. She hates that it affects her. She _hates_ it. 

__

“Look, Kieran, I just-“ Lauren inhales, playing with her ponytail that is tied loosely, and hung over her shoulder, “I wanted to talk to you.”

__

“I believe you are doing that right now.” His eyebrows still raised, he places the pencil he was twirling in his fingers on the table, “If you could make it faster, it would be greatly appreciated. I _do_ have work to attend tp.” 

__

“Right.” 

__

She doesn’t offer more words for a few minutes, but she opens her mouth again, “I wanted to talk about the other day- I-I—Will told me-“ 

__

He doesn’t give her any reaction; he doesn’t show any emotion. Her voice breaks, slightly, when she speaks again, “ _I didn’t know._ I’m just—I wanted to apolo-“

__

But before she can complete the sentence, he pushes his chair behind with a loud creak, standing up and taking the pile of papers that sat on his desk in his arms. He looks at her with icy eyes, looking down at his wristwatch, “I believe I need to get back to work, and presume you do too.” 

__

“Kieran, wait-“ 

__

He’s already by the door, ready to exit but right before he does, without turning to face her, he says, “You know, Lauren, not knowing something doesn’t excuse anything. And you should go out of here before Hermann finds you, you don’t want to get into trouble with him.”

__

With that, 

__

He closes the door softly, leaving her alone with the piece of her heart that couldn’t be placed back together.

__

.

__

.

__

.

__

Lauren sighs as she trudges towards the exit of the precinct, shoulders slumped as if she were trying to make herself smaller; so small that she would be invisible, but just as she steps out, she hears the chirpy voice of her best friend calling out to her, “Aye, Lauren!” 

__

She manages a weak smile and Kym cocks her head to a side, a knowing smile forming on her pale face, “It’s Kieran, isn’t it?” 

__

When Lauren doesn’t answer, she nods her head slightly, “You spoke to him?”

__

“I tried.” She frowns, “Didn’t work out very well.”

__

“Hm, I’ll assume it’s because you two were trying to kiss and make up in the precinct, which isn’t a very good idea.” Kym scratches her chin, looking as if she were in deep thought, “You need a more private area.”

__

She mumbles the last bit, leaving Lauren looking at her, flabbergasted, a tint of red covering her cheeks which normally wouldn’t show up and the blue haired girl laughs at her state. 

__

Kym smiles, “No, really. I think you should talk to him again. _Properly._ Go to his house- or whatever, and speak to him, because—” 

__

Lauren raises an eyebrow at the unfinished sentence. 

__

“Because the two of you lose the light you have when you aren’t together.” She says softly, making Lauren create a subtle astonished look on her face. 

__

Maybe they really would die without each other.

__

Maybe they really did need each other. 

__

Lauren remains silent, and finally replies with a simple ‘oh’, unable to muster up anything else to say.

__

\-----

__

She doesn’t go to his apartment, no. Not that day, at least. They played their little game for two weeks. Little glances, both desperately wanting to talk, wanting to fix what had happened between them. They were so afraid of losing each other but Lauren Sinclair is known to be impatient, so on the day when the sun shines and the air is cold, she finds herself outside his apartment.

__

Once she taps on his door, her breathing turns heavy, and little bullets of sweat drip down the nape of her neck. She can’t help feeling stupid, suddenly. The man made it clear in the precinct that he didn’t want to talk to her and that he couldn’t forgive her and yet, here she stood outside his apartment. 

__

After what feels like a century, Kieran opens the door, still in his archivist uniform, except the top three buttons, popped off, showing his tanned, muscular chest. His hair, to her surprise, wasn’t in its usual low bun, rather tied together in a high bun, a few strands of high sticking out at the back.

__

Kieran looks at her, raising an eyebrow and when she doesn’t say anything, he sighs, opening the door wider, welcoming her in. She steps in, almost hesitantly, like a bird that’s looking for predators, if it’s going to be attacked.

__

Lauren stands awkwardly in the apartment- the same place where she almost- practically called him— _that._

__

She watches as he goes to the stove, taking two cups in his hands, and proceeds to make something which she assumes to be coffee. 

__

“I—I don’t like much sugar.” Her voice is soft, and she cringes internally at her own voice and statement. He nods, and replies, “I know.” 

__

“Oh.” 

__

Lauren hates this- this silence, the agonizingly painful silence. She wishes she never even came; this was a bad idea. She feels like a bird trapped in a cage; except she has all the right to walk out but she _can't_. Or, more like, she doesn't want to because somehow, something kept her in place. She doesn't want to be away from him, although the tension is high, being with him lit her up a little more. Maybe Kym really was right.

__

Lauren fiddles with her fingers as she sits on his couch, until she couldn’t bear it because that is just what Lauren Sinclair is: impatient. She stands up, sighing. 

__

“Kieran.” She starts while he hums in response. She doesn’t understand how he can pretend like everything is fine, like nothing happened, like that night never happened. “Look I- I didn’t come here for a cup of coffee.”

__

“Oh, I know.” 

__

“We need to talk.” 

__

He places the two cups on the countertop, not turning to face her but lifting his face up from the cups, “Yeah? And how can talking help?” 

__

Lauren lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through her hair, “Dear lord, Kieran, don’t you get it? Every argument that has happened between us was because of lack of communication, and then you ask how talking can help?”

__

Kieran remains silent as she goes on, “And I did something wrong, we both know it, so stop. Stop pretending like you’re okay, stop pretending like you’re not hurt, stop pretending like I didn’t hurt you. Because it _sucks_ , alright, it sucks. And I- I—”

__

She absolutely despises how vulnerable she is, but she has to say it- she has to. Her voice breaks, “I'm just- I’m sorry, Kieran, I’m _so_ sorry, you- you don’t understand, I- that was- I don’t know who he was to you but I- I killed him, Kieran. _I killed him._ ” 

__

Silence fills the room once again, and she takes a step towards him, “You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect it. But I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I know it’s my fault and—” Lauren takes a deep breath then, continuing, “Saying sorry won’t change anything but if there’s anything- absolutely anything I can do to—to make up, I will do it. Even if—” 

__

She inhales, speaking softly, “Even if it means helping you kill Dylan.”

__

Lauren hears him sigh, and she lifts her eyes that were looking down at her brown boots, to face him. Kieran looks at her, pursing his lips. 

__

“I never said I wanted to kill him. Like I told you before, I only kill when ordered to or if it’s the only choice.” Kieran looks away slightly, “Besides, **it’s fine. I don’t need your help. I’m okay.** It’s been done, there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

__

She grits her teeth, walking towards him with angry, heavy steps, and she finds herself standing right in front of him, clenching her fists, her nails digging in her skin as if they were trying to find treasure in it. Her heart feels heavy looking at the man in front of her, his hair messed, his eyes so distant, broken, alone. 

__

“Kieran, just- don’t.” He raises an eyebrow at her. “Stop- _stop lying._ ”

__

When he doesn’t say anything, she asks, her voice breaking a little, “Kieran, are you really okay?”

__

Before he speaks, she continues, “Please don’t lie to me, Kieran, please. _Please._ ”

__

“I—” Kieran pauses, dropping his head down, his voice soft, “No. No, I’m not. I feel—I feel like I’m suffocating. I can’t- it feels like I don’t deserve to breathe. After everything I have done- everything I didn’t do, I—it- I feel like I’m underwater and no matter how much I try, I can’t reach the surface because- because there _is_ no surface. I live in darkness, Lauren. I live underwater where I can’t breathe; where I can’t be heard.” 

__

Her heart feels like it’s a heavy rock under the sea, and it hurts.

__

“ _I can’t breathe, Lauren.”_ He croaks.

__

Before she knows what she’s doing, she stumbles forward, her arms tucked under his. She is pressed fully against him- fitting perfectly together, held so tight together. 

__

Kieran breathes heavily, his heart pounding against his chest- loud and clear, his eyes widen in shock, because of her touch. Such a starve touched man, he was, even the littles of brushes, mere glances, and small words had his heart beating so fast he was afraid he may die. 

__

Lauren’s hand slowly makes it to his chest, in between their bodies, and the other holding his hand. She presses her hand against his heart and massages his chest, her other hand drawing circles on the back of his hand, comforting him.

__

His breaths are heavy as if he had just run a race, and she doesn’t stop her motions with her hands. Her eyes remain closed while his still wide open, and she rests her head against his chest next to where her hand sat. 

__

“It’s okay.” She whispers, “You can breathe.” 

__

The double meaning to it doesn’t go unnoticed. Kieran lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and looks down at the girl in front of him, her little red head that rests on his chest. His eyes soften slightly, and finally he wraps his arms around her, lightly, closing the gap her hand held between them. Lauren brings her hands to his back, grasping onto his shirt as if he will fade away if she didn’t hold him tight enough. His face is buried in her neck and he trembles slightly. 

__

_“Breathe?”_ His voice is soft. 

__

Lauren nods. 

__

_How am I supposed to breathe? Live? In a world where I am suffocating every day, barely making it alive without disappearing into a nonexistent abyss? How am I supposed to breathe in a world I survive- I exist- and don’t live? How dare I allow myself to breathe when that is only something done by humans? How dare I allow myself to live after everything I have done, Lauren? How could you tell me to breathe after everything I have done to you?_

__

Kieran inhales and lets out a breath, “I _can’t_.” 

__

“I am burning, Lauren. I am burning alive.” They remain silent until he speaks again, “Lauren, when you close your eyes, where do you see us?” 

__

“Well…” She contemplates before answering, “I see a garden- my mother’s garden- and it has flowers, Kieran, of every size and shape, and colour. And there we stand- in the midst of it, the birds chirp, and the sun shines. Kieran, it’s beautiful. There’s everything we could’ve ever wanted, there’s a little stream, too.” 

__

He sighs. He can hear the smile in her voice, and he hates that he would be destroying it- burning it- ruining it- just like everything else he touched. Maybe that’s why he refused to touch her.

__

“What do _you_ see, Kieran?”

__

“I see fire.” He says, almost immediately, as if he was completely certain about his answer, and had actually pondered about it before, “There’s chaos, and I hear screams, and in the midst of it all, I stand with my sword in my hand. Do you know where you are, Lauren?” 

__

Her grip on his shirt tightens, and she shuts her eyes hard, her heart clenching. “You’re at my feet, Lauren. And you don’t breathe. You’re covered in blood. You are dead.”

__

“Do you see, Lauren? That’s all I do- I only bring chaos.”

__

_“I am a monster.”_

__

She wants to deny but she knows that will only make a hypocrite, and because she is selfish, she says nothing to the last statement.

__

Just then, she realizes how different they are- darkness and light, chaos and peace, monster, and goddess. She was everything he could never be, yet she finds the darkness bringing warmth- the darkness reminds her of spring and everything lovely, and then her, being the light, was everything but warm; she was cold like the days in winter. So different, yet so similar. 

__

“Kieran.” She whispers, not realizing a tear has rolled down her cheek, wetting his shirt and he hates it. Because he knows- he knows how many people he is responsible for; for making them cry, for tearing them apart, and he can’t- he refuses to hold her any longer because how dare he? How could the monster hold this goddess in his arms as if he were pure, as if he deserved it, when, really, he didn’t.

__

He pulls himself away, and it’s so hard, he wants to hold her forever, keep her close because no matter how many times she hurts him, he will always, always, choose her, only her. 

__

But he has to. 

__

Kieran looks down, “Lauren, you need to leave.”

__

“But-“ 

__

“No.” His features, hard yet soft. **“I’ll be fine without you**. Just—please. Go.” 

__

Her heart shatters at the lie and she can’t bring herself to move- she has always been like this, stubborn, and so, Kieran finds himself walking out instead, leaving the keys, putting on his coat, and just before leaving, saying, “Lock the door when you leave.”

__

.

__

.

__

.

__

Lauren stares up at the ceiling, twisting, and turning on the bed, unable to fall asleep. His words keep echoing in her head.

__

_I can’t breathe, Lauren._

__

_I only bring chaos._

__

_I am a monster._

__

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she pushes herself up on her bed, looking at the moonlight that fell in her room. 

__

She had woken up a few minutes ago from her dream. She didn’t dream of Dylan, no, she dreamed of the man with hair of the darkest shade of blue, and she was with him, in a garden with everything they could have ever wanted, peace, happiness. But of course, it was only a dream. It wasn’t long till her eyes opened, in hope, only to be met with the lonely light of the moon and soft chirps of the crickets.

__

Lauren wishes that night never happened. She wishes many things never happened. Placing a hand on her heart, she holds her forehead in pain, whispering, “I only want you to be happy.”

__

She then pushes herself off the bed and makes her way to the coat hanger, grabbing a coat and making her way out because she couldn’t stand it- another second in there. The loneliness was suffocating, and she couldn’t brea-

__

_I can’t breathe._

__

_And he’s alone every day, there isn’t a single moment, a single person who is ever there for him. And the one person he seemed to care about, I took him away- I killed him, I killed him._

__

Shutting the door with a soft click, she breathes in the cold air, shivering slightly, taking small footsteps but walking fast, looking for air, looking for oxygen, looking for her other half.

__

\------

__

She sees him, his figure could never be mistaken. Even in the darkness, his hunched back, legs dangling from the tower. She doesn’t know what compelled her to make her way towards him, she doesn’t know why she felt this unmistakable tug in his direction every time she saw him. Perhaps they truly were magnets. 

__

Lauren stands there, on the rooftop of the unsure why he was there; unsure why she was there. She knows he is aware of her presence because that’s just how they worked; unspoken words hung in the air, reaching the other, almost as if they were telepathic. 

__

They stay like that in silence until she walks up to him. He didn’t dare speak; whenever it came to the fox, he didn’t dare unlike her. 

__

She stands behind him, as he sits on the parapet wall. She wants to tell him he’s a fool for sitting on something so high like that but instead chooses not to. Lauren squeezes her hands together, exhaling, speaking after some time, softly. They weren’t loud anymore, they spoke softly, looked, touched; because they were tired, so very tired, of being loud.

__

“What’re you doing here?” 

__

He doesn’t respond immediately. She expects him to joke but to her surprise, he only replies with an, “I don’t know.” 

__

Lauren nods, even though she knows he can’t see her.

__

“What are you doing here?” He asks, still refusing to face her. 

__

“I-“ Lauren pursed her lips, “I just—couldn’t sleep well. I needed to see the moon, I needed darkness.” 

__

Kieran frowns, “Darkness?”

__

“I hate being reminded of the sun, of better times. I hate being reminded that moments like that are out of my reach, and no matter how hard I try, I will always remain on land and it, high above in the sky. Seeing the sun—it evokes those memories- good, happy times, and I despise it. With every fiber of my being.” 

__

When he doesn’t reply, she realizes he probably wasn’t even listening and wanted to be left alone, so she mutters an apology, and starts to make her way down the tower but stops when he whispers, “Don’t go.”

__

Lauren freezes in her spot, but she knows better than to question so she does, she stops. 

__

“You seem to hate it passionately.”

__

“I do.”

__

“I understand.”

__

Silence. 

__

She desperately wants to leave, but she desperately wants to stay because him; his presence somehow seemed to make things better, even if they weren’t on good terms, he still managed to shine. She hates the silence, but she hates leaving. 

__

“Darling, come here.”

__

Lauren looks at him, stunned but makes her way towards him, climbing over to sit next to him. Her heart pounds when she looks down, the world so tiny beneath their feet. Impulsively, she holds his arm, as if holding him would keep her from falling, but she realises who she’s holding and tries to take her hand away, but he holds it in place. Kieran takes her little hand in his, stretching his fingers to lock his fingers in hers, rubbing their fingers together as if he were trying to find comfort, as if he were trying to light a fire to keep him warm. 

__

Her heart rate picks up, and she looks away.

__

_This is wrong. I hurt him and he’s holding my hand like I did nothing wrong, like it’s okay for us to be sitting here together._

__

She looks away, and sighs, speaking softly, 

__

“Kieran.”

__

He hums in response, still not looking at her.

__

“Kieran, I’m sorry.” 

__

He lets out a sigh of exasperation, “How many times do I have to tell you—” 

__

“No” Lauren cuts him off, and he looks at her, perplexed, “I’m not apologizing for that. I mean, partially, yes but, I—I’m sorry for- for what I said.”

__

“You mean the truth?” 

__

Lauren squeezes his hand softly, a plea to stop. “I was-- thinking about it. You’re right. I am selfish. It’s always about what I want, and I’m sorry. I—” She sighs, “You’re just so alone. You, I don’t understand how you’re alive, Kieran. You—” 

__

“You’re probably the strongest person I know.”

__

She turns to face him, smiling, one so genuine, his fingers itch for a pencil. To her surprise, he laughs.

__

“I didn’t know you were capable of being sappy.”

__

“I’m being serious.” Lauren looks away, “Why do you act like nothing happened? I hurt you and you’re talking to me like you’ve had a memory loss or something.”

__

He doesn’t give an immediate response. 

__

“You know, Lauren, I—I ‘m not angry at you. Not now, at least.” His voice is gentle, and she snaps her head towards him, her golden orbs filled with bewilderment. “I will not claim I wasn’t before, but. I don’t blame you.”

__

Her eyes are still filled with shock, as if been shot with a bullet, “But— _why_?” 

__

“I-“ Kieran sighs, and when he speaks again, he whispers, “I don’t know.” 

__

And that’s when he turns to face her, and she gets a glimpse of his entire face, and she feels a small part of her break because he looked more lugubrious that she has ever seen him, and she hates it. He manages to give her a soft smile and gently caresses her palm. 

__

“He—” Kieran looks down at their hands, “He was my uncle. I had a deal with the PS. So long as I do their dirty work, they wouldn’t cause him pain.”

__

She doesn’t know how to feel, her heart just hurts, there was nothing more, only pure pain like she had been shot right through her heart with an arrow. Lauren squeezes his hand so tight, it turns white like snow, and she bites her lip, blinking her eyes rapidly to stop the tears from rolling down her rosy cheeks. Lauren grits her teeth, in anger, then. They had taken her parents, her best friend, and now this man- who she had grown to care, perhaps even love for- taken his uncle, the only family he had alive.

__

“But they-“ Lauren pauses, chills running down her spine, “You denied an order.” 

__

He turns back to her, smiling. “A promise is a promise.”

__

Suddenly the world comes crashing down on her. 

__

_He was ordered to kill one of my co-workers, one of my friends, or even me and he didn’t for me and now he’s suffering._

__

_It’s all my fault._

__

_It’s all my fault._

__

Lauren shakes, letting go of his hand, the world below her moving but she feels Kieran bringing her towards him, stroking her hair. She clings onto him, letting her tears wet his shirt. “ _I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, I—I just wanted you to be happy and oh, Kieran, I’m so sorry_.”

__

Kieran holds her face in his large, soft hands, wiping away her tears. “Lauren, _Lauren._ Listen to me, it’s alright, okay? None of this is your fault, none of it is, please, _please_ don’t blame yourself.” 

__

She leans her head against his chest. 

__

“And frankly, being with you makes me happy.” He whispers in her hair, making her shoot her head up to look at him. Lauren only stares into his eyes but turns away, climbing over the parapet wall, standing on the rooftop now.

__

She breaks the silence, then.

__

“I think I understand what you mean when you said you can’t breathe.”

__

“Hm?”

__

“You—the loneliness, the pain, all of it hits you at once.” She pauses. “The guilt.”

__

"It's suffocating. It suffocates you."

__

Kieran nods looking ahead at the sky that now seemed to be getting lighter because the sun was closer to rising. To his surprise, she then gives her hand to him, speaking with soft words. “Will you dance with me, subordinate?”

__

He stares at her little hand for a bit before looking back at her, cracking a small smile. “That’s out of character for you. Normally you would ask to spar.”

__

He holds her hand, nonetheless, and she pulls him towards her, their bodies pressed against each other, and despite the cold, their proximity gives warmth. Lauren rests her head on his chest, one of his hands holding her waist, and the other, her hand.

__

“ _I’m just so tired of fighting._ ” She croaks.

__

Kieran holds her tighter and replies in a soft voice, agreeing, “Me too.”

__

They sway, and swing, gracefully, the wind playing a soft melody especially for them, the birds chirp along with the wind, little petals and leaves flying around the two magnets. Lauren can’t help but feel it was dramatic, but she loved it- she loved this- this _peace._

__

The Light and Dark don’t speak, only stare into each other’s eyes, smiling once in a while, and then, the sun begins to rise, darkness fading, and he pulls her towards him, chest meeting chest. Kieran grips onto her waist, and they don’t realise their intimacy until their noses brush and Lauren calls out his name, softly. 

__

And then, the South pole and North pole, are tired- so tired of being apart, so tired of keeping the distance, and so they meet. No once can be sure who leaned in first, but in that moment, all Lauren feels is the feeling of his soft lips against hers, and she doesn’t remember the last time she felt this free, and happy. Her hands rest on the two sides of his cheeks, and his hand is in her hair. 

__

She breathes in the scent of charcoal and mint and everything lovely- and it’s so intoxicating. When they let go, they gasp for air, and she looks into his ocean eyes which made her want to cry, only, this time, tears of happiness. Lauren’s hands never leave his cheeks. 

__

“Your cheeks are so cold.” 

__

He manages a small nod before gently pressing a chaste kiss against her lips, leaning her head against his. “This is so wrong.”

__

“I know.”

__

Silence. 

__

The sun rises then, and she can’t help but feel overwhelmed at the sight in front of her- how the darkness turned to light right before her eyes, his turquoise eyes gleaming as the sunlight fell on them, his face—he looks so, so small, just a little innocent boy, and she grips, his face.

__

“You’re so beautiful.” Lauren gasps. 

__

“And you.”

__

Lauren wraps her arms around him, “Kieran, you—you are anything but that. You’re everything lovely, you- you’re the flowers, and the sun, the moon and oh-“

__

Kieran chuckles, “You’re being so poetic.”

__

He kisses her forehead, his voice sweet and low, “But I could say the same about you.”

__

“I love you, I love you.” Kieran kisses her face, her nose, her eyelids. “More than anyone in the world.”

__

Lauren sighs in bliss, “And I, you.”

__

And so, they stand for longer, enjoying the view from the height, because at the end of the day- they needed each other, they were each other’s halves, the darkness and light, devil and the goddess, yin, and yang; only together were they complete.

__

.

__

.

__

.

__

They take things slow, after that morning, because they were both terrified- terrified of doing too much, to lose whatever they had. For a while, the two ignored the kiss, pretending it never happened, afraid acknowledging it would change everything and it did. It changed everything, and Lauren only supposes for better and for the worse. 

__

When they do talk about it, of course, they met with an agreement; a deal.

__

_"We do this logically, okay? We think rationally. Feelings don't get in the way." Kieran says, looking at her with a stern voice but gentle eyes._

__

_Lauren merely nods._

__

_"And--" He pauses. "This will not interfere with our missions. You will not let feelings get in the way. If you see me down and you know I can't get up, then leave. Do you understand?"_

__

_She frowns, shaking her head, standing up to stand right in front of him._

__

_"No, that's not how we work, Kieran. If you go down, I go down too, you get up, I get up too and vice versa. We do it together."_

__

_Kieran sighs, closing his eyes for a second and then opening them back open, looking at her with soft eyes; like she's the only one who deserves to be looked at._

__

_"Alright."_

__

_She nods._

__

_He then adds:_

__

_"One more thing. We can't afford to- we have to take things slow, we can't-"_

__

_Lauren nods her head again and then laughs, holding his cheek softly. "Scandalous one, aren't you? Thinking of things as such already."_

__

_He covers his face, flushing, and she laughs harder at his flustered state. Kieran smiles but then it drops, and he looks away, holding her hands._

__

_"I'm serious- we can't allow this to go too far." His eyes are serious. "It will interfere with Lune and with me being part of the PS- doesn't really help our odds either."_

__

_"I understand."_

__

_"It's a deal, then."_

__

_"I suppose it is, subordinate." She replies, smiling._

__

_**Months later.** _

__

But of course, Lune has never been known for keeping deals, no matter how many agreements they have, one or the other ends up breaking it.

__

Kieran slams the door shut, running an angry hand through his dark locks, tapping his foot against the floor. He rubs his hands up and down his face. " _What exactly in the hell did you try to do?”_

__

Lauren lets out a heavy sigh, standing just near the front door. "He was coming at you, so I came in front-" 

__

_"I know that, goddammit._ " Kieran curses under his breath, his hands shaking slightly as he makes his way towards her. "Do you realise what would've happened to you? _Do you realise, officer?_

__

"I do, Kieran and I'm sorry-" 

____

"Sorry doesn't fix anything!" He exclaims, holding her shoulder. "'Sorry' doesn't bring you back if you had died, 'sorry' doesn't change the fact that you could've died, _'Sorry' doesn't do anything!_ Lauren, you could've _died_. For _me._ " 

____

She holds his face softly. "It was by instinct." 

____

To her surprise, his eyes glimmer and a tear runs down his cheek. "Don't you get it, Lauren? I can't- _I can't lose you_. You mean too much to me and-" 

____

"-I would lose my _mind_ if you ever left me." His voice breaks. "So, please, _please_ don't die on me. _Please._ " 

____

Lauren leans her forehead against his, gripping his arms. "It's alright. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not leaving you." 

____

She places her lips on his, kissing his lower lip softly, and he, her upper lip. His hands hold the sides of her face, caressing her cheeks while she grips his back, bringing him closer, closer. But since it was the night he almost lost her; the air was still thick with tension. Kieran pushes her against the wall and his lips never leave hers, as if, if it were to leave hers, she would disappear from his grip forever. 

____

Her fingers thread through his luscious locks and his hand grips her waist and another in her scarlet hair. Kieran's grip on her waist tightens when she sucks hard at his lower lip and he lets out a soft moan. Chest against chest, lip on lip, they were one, a whole, inseparable. 

____

His hands lower to her thighs and he grips them, lifting her off the ground, and she wraps her legs around his waist. The rain showers on that day. Their bodies are pressed so tightly together as if they were magnets, unable to let go. Lauren grasps onto his hair, tugging at his long, untamed strands. It's a fight for dominance, as always, both of them so stubborn, both of them wanting to win. 

____

She removes her lips from his and places them on his jaw, his neck, kissing his collarbone, taking, taking.

____

Lauren places her lips back on his and he realises she's like a drug, intoxicating. But soon, Kieran's eyes snap open and he stares at her as she closes her eyes so tight, in utter pain, love and his chest hurts. 

____

_We're going too far, we need to stop, we need to-_

____

He doesn't close his eyes yet. She's too beautiful to look away, to let go, to stop. But he has to.

____

" _Lauren_." He whispers, pulling his lips off hers with much difficulty. "We can't-" 

____

Lauren presses her lips against his to shut him up. He closes his eyes tight and he hates himself for pulling away _again_ , but he does, and their lips brush against each other, and Lauren looks at him through hooded eyes. 

____

Before he can speak, she opens her mouth. 

____

"Kieran, _I want you._ " 

____

She spoke with so much emotion, so much feeling, his heart rate increases but he holds himself from putting his lips back on hers. 

____

"And you are absolutely certain you're okay with this?" 

____

Lauren chuckles, "Yes, subordinate." 

____

Kieran holds her face, rubbing her cheeks softly with his thumbs. "You tell me if you want to stop. You tell me if you don't want this, it's completely fine, alright?" 

____

He continues, his eyes filled with _pain. "I don't want to hurt you, Lauren._ " His voice is so soft, and she kisses his eyelids, cheeks, nose, his entire face.

____

" _You could never hurt me, Kieran."_

____

.

____

.

____

.

____

And that night, when the moon light falls on them, as the stars nod as the two hold each other tightly, pressed together so close like the mouth of a clam.

____

Kieran looks down at her, her petite arms wrapped around his torso and her head buried in his chest. She looks so beautiful, Aphrodite would be nothing next to her, he thinks.

____

_What did I do to deserve this beautiful soul?_

____

"What?" Lauren asks, drawing circles on his chest, a little embarrassed. 

____

As if he read her mind, he softly holds her chin and makes her look at him, "Don't be embarrassed, darling, have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

____

She laughs. "You hand out compliments too easily."

____

Kieran buries his head in her neck. "Only to you, _mon amour_. Only you deserve my compliments." 

____

"Why, you charmer." She pats his head as if he were a puppy. "You're just as gorgeous, do you know that?" 

____

He looks at her eyes glimmering like stars and Kieran holds her cheek, kissing her forehead. "Gorgeous how?" 

____

"Well-" Lauren holds the back of his neck, playing with the little strands of hair that sticks out. "You have amazing looks for one." The two laugh. "And you- your soul, Kieran. You're kind. You're loving. You're caring. You're so--human." 

____

She stares into his eyes with so much love- all the love he never received his entire life she provided. 

____

"You are everything I could have wanted." 

____

Kieran would cry if only he could actually muster tears but instead, he feels his heart tug and he wraps his arms tightly against the little woman's body.

____

"And you are everything I could have ever wanted." He replies, ever so softly.

____

Lauren leans her head against his chest, sighing in bliss. Looking up at him, kissing his lips; a chaste kiss, like a feather brushing against his lips. Soft and sweet.

____

"You know I love you, right?" 

____

"I do." He looks down at her, his ocean eyes shining as the moon light falls slightly on his face. "And I love you, I love you, _mon ange._ " 

____

Kieran kisses her nose, softly. "I love you more than anyone in the whole world." 

____

And although they did break their deal, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms, they decide that nothing in the world could make them feel as safe, as happy as they felt in each other's arms because the two of them, such starve touched humans, so starved of love, being in the position they were in made them never want to let go because at the end of the day, they are each other's halves, and they only fit together- 

____

_Darkness and light, chaos and peace, monster, and goddess. She was everything he could never be, yet she finds the darkness bringing warmth- the darkness reminds her of spring and everything lovely, and then her, being the light, was everything but warm; she was cold like the days in winter. So different, yet so similar._

____

**Author's Note:**

> Okay _look,_  
>  I know it's highly unlikely,  
> 1) for any of Kieran's relatives to be alive  
> 2)for Kieran to forgive her so easily 
> 
> SO WE WILL IGNORE THAT EHEHEHE  
> We will also ignore the fact that I said he couldn't cry in a scene right after a tear dropped:D if you didn't notice it, you didn't just read this
> 
> A n y w a y  
> I really did have fun writing this and I've also made up my mind to actually put effort into writing fics bc I feel like I just idk dont and writing really be going ⤵️
> 
> But yea  
> I hope you liked that! 
> 
> You can find me on instagram @kikisartisoffthecharts heh🤡🖐


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